Perhaps, I should tell you what's been on my heart lately. About seven years ago, I was flying to Italy for the Feast of Tabernacles. During the flight to London, which was a long flight, I was contemplating about why I was doing the things that I knew were wrong before God. I was a womanizer, sexually immoral, and even fornicator, as a teenager--of course they were symptoms of a deep longing for love and affection and beauty. In my struggle to find the very core reason for why I did the things that I did, I found out the truth about myself about women, I kept choosing them because of what I wanted--lust and selfishness.
It wasn't right. I didn't want to do that: didn't want to womanize, treat the opposite sex as sex objects, and didn't want them to be disrespected/devalued. In the wake of my realization, I had prayed to God an oath to Him: "I know why I keep messing up in regards to women, and it's because I choose them and not You. So, I want You to choose the one that is best for me." I vowed to God that I would not date anyone--in the worldly since--if He chose the woman for me. I knew that He would choose someone that is best for me; He wants to give me someone that puts Him first--even over me. I needed to learn to do the same. As proof of my conviction, I had stopped dating all together and became friends with the opposite sex.
As time went by, God would guide women into my life to teach me something about myself. Overtime and overcoming, God has taught me what it's like to truly respect and honor a woman. It took several years, but it was very rewarding. I feel that I am more of a man by respecting and honoring a woman than in disgracing her and devaluing her. God has given me certain signs and dreams to show me that He is keeping His promise to me. Most of those signs are songs--one of which is my song: "In Your Midst". You see, as time went by and God was teaching me how to love and respect a woman. He was showing me His feelings and emotions about His own wife: Israel. I guess it was His way of showing me how to love her the way God intended it to be.
First in 2007 with someone in my local congre-gation, teaching me about my own self-righteousness and about how to keep His way of life from the heart and mind--which is only possible through His Holy Spirit.
Second in 2008, when I went to Israel and Jordan for 7 weeks, and I believe, that God had revealed to me who it was that He has chosen--although she can choose to say "no".
Third in 2009, when I endured my parents divorce and seeing the suffering of my mother by the ironfist hand of my father who was being influenced to do wickedly.
fourth in 2010, when I was at ABC, and I was holding fast to my oath to God. I may have made mistakes, but I never desired to break my oath.
Finally, in 2011, when I realized what it's like to be a real man by honoring and cherishing a woman.
That brings me to today, 7 years later, and I feel that God wills that He fulfill His promise to me, but I don't know how right now. I have sang my song "In Your Midst" as a sign to Israel and Judah of our modern world about the feelings and emotions that God feels for her that He has given to me over the years of my training. Most of them are in the song, that I had sang at Pentecost as a new offering to God. I do have an mp3 file of the song for anyone that wish to listen to it--free of charge.
As of right now, I do not know what to do about the oath besides the fact that I do not want to break it. And, the ending of the song is tragic because the actions of God's people are tragic because the church has made it about the church of the people instead of making it the church of God. When we make the church about ourselves, are we not pushing out Jesus Christ, our Husband, to not be involved and reign over us in our daily lives? Did we not make the same mistake as ancient Israel did when they wanted a king to reign over them? The consequence of that didn't take place until 720 BC for the northern 10 tribes and 586 BC for Judah and Jerusalem. I'll focus on the Kingdom of Judah, Did they not become destroyed by their enemies because they worshiped their organization and pushed God out of their lives?
Can America do the samething and expect a different result? Did not America push God out of schools and universities in 1963 with Abington School District v. Schempp? Did not America push God out of government by focusing on socialism and progressivism? Did not America push religion out of politics with Lemon v. Kurtzman in 1971? Did not America push the law of God out of school in 1980 with Stone v. Graham? Did not America push God out of our media, businesses, and homes? Prove to God that we are still one nation under God, O America, or our debt and corruption will destroy us.
But, there's something that America has forgotten and needs to know. That is this: America has a great purpose. We need to look and learn about the truth about America. Why was she born when there was no hope of her being born? Why did the Union not become two nations or the Confederate States of America when Robert E Lee should have taken Washington D.C? Why does God still preserve us today when we have a debt that's almost our GDP and corruption everywhere? Do you not think that God still has a purpose for America even now? If we just stop burning incense to vanity and look to Him for all our needs, wants, hopes, dreams, faith, love, and life, will we not find out America's purpose? Will we not see who the Union is? The One with many crowns on His head, and a crown with a name that no one knows except Himself? If you know George Washington's vision, you will know that the crown has blazen the word: Union! Is He not going to be America's first and only King? Should we not let Him reign over us now?
I still believe that the Lord will return for His Bride—despite our deeds. Although this version of the song has an ending that is tragic, it isn’t the end of the story! There’s hope of a new beginning. We need that new beginning in the Bride of Christ today. The bride needs to hold on to God and never let Him go. Just as the woman in Song of Solomon held on to her beloved and never let him go (Song of Solomon 3:1-5). My hope is that the one God chose for me will dream and seek me with all her heart in hope of never letting me go. Is this not what the Husband, the Lord Jesus Christ wants His Bride to do for Him? Just as He will never let His Bride go, so will I do the same for her whom God has chosen. Just as Christ nourishes and cherishes the bride, so I will do for her as best as I know how in the Lord. Don’t let me go—I will not break my oath… I cannot let You go oh Lord Jesus—please come quickly!
