There are
times when weakness and vulnerability are necessary to living a Godly life. Why
do I say that? It’s simple… God can work with a weak and vulnerable person. God
can teach His ways to a person who is weak and vulnerable. God is near to those
who have a broken heart and a contrite spirit. He is near to those who are
lowly. In Isaiah 57:15, “For thus saith the high and lofty One
that inhabiteth eternity, whose name is Holy; I dwell in the high and holy
place, with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the
spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones.”
I
would like to say that I am a man of Godly character, or a man that is strong
in the Lord, or a man with courage to face any giant. But, that’s just not the
case. I am a weak and vulnerable man. I have been struggling with my own sexual
sins lately. I don’t go around having sex with every woman I see, but I do lust
after them. I know that it’s not right, but it is a weakness that I am
struggling with. There have been days when I do well, but there are other days
when I fail miserably and have to ask God for forgiveness. I just hope that I
can overcome this. God has given us people in the bible to teach us that we can
come to him in our weaknesses.
David,
King of Israel, had a weakness with women as well. He had many wives, but it
wasn’t enough for him when Beersheba came along bathing naked right in front of
him. If this is a graphic image than forgive me: it’s what happened. David gave
in to his lust, had sex with Beersheba, and killed her husband. David did horrible
things in a period of life when he was weak. It’s not an excuse because David
was accountable for what happened. When Nathan confronted him by the Word of
the Lord, David confessed. The consequences were that the child of Beersheba
died, and a curse came on David’s house forever.
However,
God didn’t take His Holy Spirit from David like He did to Saul, nor did He take
his mercy away from him and his house. David still became one of the greatest
kings of Israel—even with his character flaws. I, sometimes, hoped that my own
flaws would just go away and be covered up like David tried to do before Nathan
confronted him. It doesn’t work that way. Sin will always come to the surface,
and the consequences will always happen to someone. I am in a period in my life
when I am weak, and that’s when the devil takes advantage. Satan wants you to
sin, so he can tell God of how much you are not worth saving. God is gracious
and merciful: David was delivered from his son, Absalom, who wanted to take his
throne. God also kept David for his Kingdom because in Ezekiel, God said that
David would be prince over Israel.
I
am weak and vulnerable. Sometimes I am weak and vulnerable because of my own
sins, and sometimes because of things that I have no control over. In November
2012, I had been diagnosis with Schizophrenia, and had to take certain meds
that make me weak and vulnerable while I sleep—if I sleep at all. The meds make
it difficult to sleep at times, and I pray every night for a good night’s rest.
I pray every night that the meds would do the job in getting rid of the mental
illness—although God could just heal me if He chose. However, that is not what
is happening, and I am reminded of Paul’s ordeal with the thorn to the flesh.
He was told that Christ’s grace is sufficient for him, and that God’s strength
is made perfect in weakness. This is in 2 Corinthians 12:9.
