Being Weak

        There are times when weakness and vulnerability are necessary to living a Godly life. Why do I say that? It’s simple… God can work with a weak and vulnerable person. God can teach His ways to a person who is weak and vulnerable. God is near to those who have a broken heart and a contrite spirit. He is near to those who are lowly. In Isaiah 57:15, “For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, whose name is Holy; I dwell in the high and holy place, with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones.”

        I would like to say that I am a man of Godly character, or a man that is strong in the Lord, or a man with courage to face any giant. But, that’s just not the case. I am a weak and vulnerable man. I have been struggling with my own sexual sins lately. I don’t go around having sex with every woman I see, but I do lust after them. I know that it’s not right, but it is a weakness that I am struggling with. There have been days when I do well, but there are other days when I fail miserably and have to ask God for forgiveness. I just hope that I can overcome this. God has given us people in the bible to teach us that we can come to him in our weaknesses.

        David, King of Israel, had a weakness with women as well. He had many wives, but it wasn’t enough for him when Beersheba came along bathing naked right in front of him. If this is a graphic image than forgive me: it’s what happened. David gave in to his lust, had sex with Beersheba, and killed her husband. David did horrible things in a period of life when he was weak. It’s not an excuse because David was accountable for what happened. When Nathan confronted him by the Word of the Lord, David confessed. The consequences were that the child of Beersheba died, and a curse came on David’s house forever.

        However, God didn’t take His Holy Spirit from David like He did to Saul, nor did He take his mercy away from him and his house. David still became one of the greatest kings of Israel—even with his character flaws. I, sometimes, hoped that my own flaws would just go away and be covered up like David tried to do before Nathan confronted him. It doesn’t work that way. Sin will always come to the surface, and the consequences will always happen to someone. I am in a period in my life when I am weak, and that’s when the devil takes advantage. Satan wants you to sin, so he can tell God of how much you are not worth saving. God is gracious and merciful: David was delivered from his son, Absalom, who wanted to take his throne. God also kept David for his Kingdom because in Ezekiel, God said that David would be prince over Israel.

        I am weak and vulnerable. Sometimes I am weak and vulnerable because of my own sins, and sometimes because of things that I have no control over. In November 2012, I had been diagnosis with Schizophrenia, and had to take certain meds that make me weak and vulnerable while I sleep—if I sleep at all. The meds make it difficult to sleep at times, and I pray every night for a good night’s rest. I pray every night that the meds would do the job in getting rid of the mental illness—although God could just heal me if He chose. However, that is not what is happening, and I am reminded of Paul’s ordeal with the thorn to the flesh. He was told that Christ’s grace is sufficient for him, and that God’s strength is made perfect in weakness. This is in 2 Corinthians 12:9.

        Paul boasted of his weaknesses because it made Christ strong through him. I don’t consider my weaknesses and vulnerabilities a thing to boast about. But, I am realizing that the more I am weak and vulnerable, the more that God is gracious, merciful, and strong in my life. So, if you are weak and vulnerable, boast in them because God is gracious and strong through you. God loves you as he loves me, and He wants you to be in his kingdom. You have weaknesses? You have sins? You have vulnerabilities? Give them to God because he is strong, gracious and merciful. Not only that, Jesus Christ died for you, so that He could get rid of those past sins with His own blood. He can also heal you with his wounded body. Stay close to Him in your weaknesses and vulnerabilities because He will never fail you.